Hell is Open for Business

Content Warning (click to expand)

bigotry, panic disorders, reprehensible crimes

 

by Sarah Skinner

One more day, Gale thought to herself. She simply had to survive one more day of work, and that evening, she would never need to worry about work again.

As she pulled up solitaire on her antiquated desktop, the ever glowing, smiling, giddy Pam from Sales strutted into her office holding a strip of paper high above her head. She slammed it onto Gale’s desk with a grin bigger and wider than her normal resting smile. It unsettled Gale.

“Look at that!” Pam tapped on the check with her bright pink, perfectly manicured nails.

Grimacing, Gale switched to her prescription glasses and glowered at the note, countering Pam’s cheery demeaner. In fact, everything about Gale contrasted with Pam. Pam radiated joy and beauty and grace like a bouquet of flowers from her sharp, green pantsuit to her rose-painted lips to her designer heels. However, Gale’s aura was as simple, functional, and bland as the table that held up those flowers. Though she did nothing to highlight her very plain features, they perfectly complemented her dull grey suit. She kept her thin hair as contained as possible to a neat bun, but no matter how hard she tried, she still needed to sweep back a few loose strands away from her face when she stooped over.

The paper before Gale appeared to be a check, but she swore she needed new glasses because there were too many zeroes written…

“That’s right,” Pam beamed, as if reading her thoughts, “Ten thousand dollars! Once Dris matches that, we will have raised one million dollars for the Disadvantaged Children Fund!”

Gale’s mouth and heart fell as she uttered, “No…”

“Yes! We’re hosting the party this afternoon! I need you to put that check with the paperwork, invite the DCF managers, and buy the balloons and candles. There’s so much to do! Could you train the new temp? I’m going to be swamped. You’ve met him before, so it will go that much faster. That’s not too much, is it? I know you’re leaving for vacation today.”

Pale and flushed, Gale gargled, “No.”

“Great, he’ll be here any minute. We’re setting up the party at four o’clock. I can’t wait to hand them the big check!” Pam rushed out the door.

It’s not possible, Gale insisted to herself. For years, Sales would only raise five to twenty dollars at a time, but on Gale’s last day, a ten-thousand-dollar check arrived.

There was another knock on the door. When she looked up and saw a large green translucent blob in the doorway, another shiver ran down her spine. Could two unimaginable events happen consecutively on the last day of her boring, dead-end job?

As tall as a man, the creature filled the doorway with its six green tentacles flailing around it. Though it had no humanoid shape, a tie bobbed in the neck area of the green goo.

“Hi!” he said, voice emanating from somewhere in its form. “Are you Gale? I can’t believe it! What are the chances that I’d run into the very same Gale?”

“Have we met?” Gale asked, praying he would pretend otherwise with her. She practically begged in her voice.

The blob took no notice. “We went on a blind date. I’m Gary!”

Gale shook her head.

“Like three weeks ago.”

Gale kept shaking her head.

“You ran out in the middle of it.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied in threatening monotone. “You have one of those forgettable faces.”

“Really?” Gary put a tentacle on either side of his head portion. “No one has told me that before. Thank you!”

“Why are you in my office? How did you find me?”

“I’m the new temp! Pam was supposed to train me, but I just got an email from her that Gale would train me instead. I thought to myself, this couldn’t be the Gale that ghosted me on our first date and broke my heart—”

“Sure,” Gale interrupted. “Let’s go find your office.” She tiptoed around Gary’s slime puddle and speedwalked down the hall without so much as glancing behind her.

Ever since the gates of Hell opened, demons filled the news with drama. When they were first released, the government put the entire east coast of the continental US under military law. Many demons surrendered, claiming to be “once-tortured humans,” and were immediately imprisoned. Then, waves of people rallied to support the many “survivors” of Hell, and they finally released many “innocent” ones. Gale didn’t buy one bit of it, but she still had to play nice in the office.

With Gary’s arrival, Gale couldn’t help but to feel that he might be the first horseman of her personal apocalypse, that Hell had come to drag her away for her sins, but she scoffed at that thought. I have to get away with it first…

Still clutching the check in her hand, she led the demon to his desk. “This is your computer. You should have gotten an email with your login information. Our company uses the app called DrisConnect. Just click on stuff and mess around until you figure it out. Don’t bother me.”

Before he had the chance to say a single word, she darted away from his cubicle.

She marched straight to her coworker’s office, Dave, and shut the door behind her.

Dave, a plain, balding man in a cheap suit, shook his head at Gale, confused. “Gale, what’s going on?” He narrowed his eyes in concern, expanding the heavy bags under them. Gale empathized with his tired demeanor. If Dave hadn’t had a partner already, she may have dated him.

But none of that mattered as she dropped the crinkled check on his desk, right behind the name plate labeled ‘Accountant’.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Gale demanded.

With pasty white fingers, he picked up the note. “What is this?”

“What is this? This is a ten-thousand dollar check for DCF, thus reaching the Dris Company goal of raising a half-million dollars from our clients. You’re the charity fund manager. How did you not know about this?”

“I didn’t,” he insisted and scoured the check. He paused at the back, then jumped up from his chair. “Larry signed for this!” he shrieked.

“Pam gave it to Larry!”

“The bastard probably wanted credit for managing the account now that it’s finally successful.”

“Have they talked? Could he know?”

Suddenly, Dave’s office phone blared. Gale and Dave stared at it, both experiencing the shrinking of their insides. At the second ring, Dave snatched it and stuttered a greeting. The more he spoke, the more profusely he sweated. “Hello?… Mhm… Mhmm…” He slammed it back into the receiver and looked at Gale. “Larry wants all my paperwork and bank records so he can make a summary to present at the party today.”

“What do we do?” Gale said, pacing in front of his desk. “When he realizes that the company hasn’t matched a single dollar of the clients’ donations, they’ll figure out where the money went and call the police.” She paused and took a deep breath. “We need a plan.”

David retrieved a suitcase from under his desk and began dumping his desk contents into it. “Yeah, we make a break for it early.”

“No,” Gale hissed, “it’s too suspicious. We just need to ensure Larry doesn’t see the account until we’re safe.”

“Sure, Gale, you go for it!” He slammed his briefcase shut. “I’m outta here.” Though there were sweat stains visible on his shirt, he took a moment to compose himself and adjust his tie before exiting his office, leaving Gale behind.

•   •   •

Gale returned to her office, forcing a smile. Once safe inside, she plopped down in her seat and grabbed two fistfuls of her hair, ripping it out of the bun. Her heart palpitated out of her chest.

What am I going to do?

Gale checked the airlines. There were no earlier flights. International, after all. She slammed the laptop shut and speculated her next move.

If Larry finally looked at those accounts, he may not realize that the company’s matched dollars were not going to the Disadvantaged Childrens’ Fund (DCF) but the Disenfranchised Children’s Fund (DCF*) instead. The billing statements would be almost identical, so he may not realize when he makes the summary, but when Larry chats up the DCF managers at the party, Gale and Dave would fall into a downward spiral. Police would be called, and it wouldn’t take long to learn that the owners of DCF* were, in fact, David Kimura and Gale Grey.

Could they have buried their names in a paper trail? Sure, but the con started as just an accident. Dave oversaw the account. A part of Gale’s job was to keep track of the paperwork and hand off the checks. When he first set up the company’s match policy, he accidentally made the check to the non-existent fund. When Gale noticed and brought it to him, an idea was born. She couldn’t remember which had mentioned it first, but they both suggested the same thing: create a fake fund to siphon off the company’s money. Gale told the charity that Dris Company would donate their charity match in a lump sum of five-hundred thousand dollars at the end of the campaign, and Dave told the company that they would match as each donation came in with no one the wiser.

When they first started, Gale waited for someone to notice the typo, but no one did. Their shabbily constructed fund kept filling, and the two were too terrified to touch it and risk anyone taking a second look. Neither of them lifted a finger throughout the entire process, and the money flowed. Gale used the simplicity of it to justify the crime in her own head: If it’s this easy to steal their money, then they should reconsider their policies. They were merely teaching Dris Company a lesson. What moral implications should Gale even consider? Hell is a tropical resort now…

…but prison is not. Gale needed to ensure Larry did not see those accounts or talk to the DCF managers until after her flight. She needed to break into his computer, but how would she get into his office? He always locked it to protect his bowling trophies.

Gary barged into Gale’s office, holding two coffees with his slimy tentacles. “Hello Gale! I brought you coffee.” He set one cup down on her desk. Green goo pooled around the bottom. “I love that new hairstyle. By the way, I think I understand the system, but my mouse and keyboard stopped working.”

Gale snapped up from her chair. “Gary! I need your help with something!”

Startled, Gary dumped his coffee on himself. It dissipated into his mass like ink in water. “Ow.”

“Come with me!” Gale started down the hall without looking back while Gary followed, leaving a slimy trail behind him.

•   •   •

The two stopped outside a locked office at the end of the hall where Gale finally turned to Gary. “I accidentally left a pair of sunglasses in this office; could you use your…” she gestured to all of him, “…to unlock the door.”

“Why don’t we just ask Mr.,” Gary leaned in closer to the nameplate, “Larry Henderson to unlock it. I feel uncomfortable breaking in.”

“He’s gone today.”

“I’ll buy you some sunglasses—”

“Please?!” Gale shrieked. “I’ll go on a second date!” An absolute lie.

Gary grew a little taller. “Really? Okay!” He ripped the door off its hinges. “There you go,” he beamed.

Gale almost choked. “Why did you do that? You just damaged Dris Company property!”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“No, I wanted you to use your tentacle to slide under — Never mind, it’s too late now.”

“Oh, I got it!” Gary slapped the hinges of the doorframe and glued it back to the wall. “There, just like new.” The goo-drenched door hung crooked.

“Just stand outside the door and distract anyone who approaches.” Gale jammed the door closed behind her and rushed to the desk where Larry’s laptop sat. The lock screen pulled up. Frantically, she looked around. There was a sticky note on the desk that read, ‘Bluehawks’. She tried it. It was incorrect. She tried the year he won the bowling nationals. She tried his wife’s name. She tried—

“Larry!” Gary shrieked outside the office door. “Oh my god, I’ve heard so much about you. I’m the new temp. You gotta tell me all the company drama…”

Gale held her breath. What could the password be? After some contemplation, her eyes rested on a half-finished coffee cup on the desk, and a lightbulb turned on in her head. She took a single finger, tapped the cup, and spilled it over the keyboard of the laptop. Not bothering to wait for the screen to flicker off, she lunged from the chair and peeked out the door.

Thankfully, Larry didn’t notice her as he spoke to Gary beside the water cooler.

“It’s so nice to see other demons in the workplace,” Gary remarked. “Relaxing those clothing mandates were key. Could you imagine me in a full suit?”

“Yeah,” Larry chuckled in his thick, growling voice. “I used to have to wear shoes.” He held up one of his hooved feet. “But the best thing they’ve done was the Demon’s Rights Act. When I applied for my first job, they wanted me to cut off my horns. They said it would be unprofessional. What bullshit. I am ashamed of my past life, but that doesn’t mean I should ignore it. My horns are a part of me.”

“Stereotypes, man. They want this conformity because if you don’t, they think it means you want to be a demon. They think that just because we went to Hell, we’re not capable of change. They don’t understand that by keeping all of our inhuman parts, we are accepting the way we are and growing past it.”

“No better way to put it!” They tapped their water cups together.

Gale slipped out and walked stiffly down the hall. While glancing over, she caught Larry’s large round pupil dart towards her. Immediately, he turned his snout and raised his hairy hands in the air. “Gale!” he cheered with his husky, gravelly voice. “Thank goodness I caught you. Everyone has been running around all day. I haven’t been able to get a hold of anyone.”

When she paused, Gale felt a shooting pain up her arm to her chest. Not now! she screamed in her head. She rotated and stared at Larry, doing her best to maintain composure. “Yes?”

“Could you tell Pam that the DCF has already received all of our donations? She seems to think that we’re going to be handing them a half-million-dollar check at the party this evening. She must have gotten confused at the last meeting.”

“Yes, of course,” Gale uttered. Her chest constricted around her heart and lungs. She saved her last breath for speaking and held her composure.

“Gale, you’re the best! I’ll see you — oh, you’re going on vacation, right? Are you going to miss the party?”

“I…” Her vacation was the perfect excuse to avoid uncomfortable conversations, but her flight didn’t leave until eight pm, and if she didn’t do something, Larry, Pam, and the DCF will talk. “I’ll be there,” she stuttered, “for a little bit.”

“I’m sure you have a lot of stuff to do for the party, so I won’t hold you up.”

“Yes, that is true. I have to get back to work.”

Larry nudged Gale’s shoulder. “Aw, Gale, always so professional. You are an inspiration to me. I’ll see you around.”

As he broke away, Gale let out the breath she had been holding. She darted down the hall with a stiff spine. Gary jogged — or slid — to catch up with her. “Did you get your sunglasses?”

“What?” It took her a moment to recall her lie. All her focus was assigned to hiding her heavy breaths. “Oh, no, they weren’t in there.”

“What a shame! I can check the Lost and Found for you!”

“Oh, sure,” Gale replied. “Knock yourself out.”

As they neared the next corner, a loud thud sound came from behind them. Gale peeked over her shoulder and glimpsed Larry thrashing on the hallway floor in a puddle of goo. “What the hell is this stuff?” he snarled as he clambered to his feet.

As they walked back to their offices, Gary offered an envelope to Gale. “Here, I wanted you to have this.”

Gale plucked it from the slimy tentacle, pinching the dry corner. “Thank you,” she stated.

“Have a nice day. See you tomorrow!” He rushed away, leaving a slime trail.

Once in her office, Gale collapsed in her chair, taking deep breaths. With her medication and monotonous lifestyle, it had been a long time since she had a panic attack, but now… To distract herself from the pounding in her head, she begrudgingly opened Gary’s envelope:

Gale,

I’m just letting you know that I have no expectations for a second date. Though I think you’re a smart, gorgeous woman, I understand that it’s difficult to love someone like me. And getting a date via a favor is a skeezy thing to do, but I really wanted to spend time with you.

XOXO Gary

Once she read the phone number at the bottom, Gale huffed to herself, “Idiot,” and dropped the note into the trashcan.

•   •   •

After she somewhat recovered from her attack, Gale stared at the phone, practicing what she would say. It was approaching two-thirty, the party was only an hour and a half away, the ideal time to call. Too late that they wouldn’t be able to rearrange their plans, but early enough that they won’t get suspicious. Not calling was the worst option, but Gale wasn’t sure she could utter the words.

Finally, she picked up the phone and dialed with sweaty fingers.

Immediately, someone picked up. “Beatrice Cooper from Disadvantaged Children’s Fund. How may I help you?”

“Hi Beatrice, it’s Gale Grey from Dris Company Communications,” she said with her voice cracking.

“Gale! It’s so good to hear from you. Just heard about that ten-thousand dollar-check. Everyone here at DCF is so ecstatic and thankful.”

“Yeah, sure,” she croaked. “I know it’s last minute, but Dris company is holding a small celebration here in honor of reaching the half-million goal. The party starts at four PM. It’s mostly for stroking the egos of Sales—”

“We’ll be there!”

“Uh — You, sure?”

“Yes, of course! Dris Company is our largest donor! We would be delighted to attend. Send over the address. Is it the big conference room again?”

“I — yes.”

“We’ll be there! Should we bring anything?”

“Just — just yourselves.”

“Oh, could you tell us about the payment plan? Is it going to be one lump sum or a series of payments? We completely understand if it’s the latter. We just wanted to know what to expect.”

“Um, Larry will discuss that with you on Monday… He’s actually having computer issues right now, so he’s a bit overwhelmed.”

“Of course, see you at the party!”

“Goodbye.”

She listened for the click on the other end before slamming the phone down. She took a deep breath to force her lungs open. As she prepared herself for the party, she regretted not taking David’s advice and running.

Why not start now? she thought for a minute, but she realized she would be more stressed sitting and waiting for her flight than if she was at her desk. At least at the office, she might deter suspicion.

Shaking, she picked up the phone again. “Gary, I need you to buy balloons.”

•   •   •

When planning the rest of the decorations, Gale took extra care to keep numbers out of it, but Pam insisted they get balloons that spelled out ‘1000000.’ And with no word from Larry, Gale was more nervous than ever. She busied herself with setting up the conference room, hoping that people wouldn’t notice her bones jittering. Thankfully, the conference room was near her office, and she could take a breather every few minutes. Pam was so busy with errands that she didn’t even realize her blouse was buttoned one button off.

Fifteen minutes before showtime, Pam skidded to a stop next to Gale as Gale was preparing the punch. “Gale, sweetheart,” she began in a sweet, panicked tone, “where are those balloons?”

“The temp is getting them,” Gale replied.

“And he isn’t here yet?!”

“I’m sure it will be a fantastic party, anyway.” Gale needed to avoid questions from DCF — such as, “When do we get the half-million dollars?”— so she had sent Gary to a balloon store across town. The lovesick dope didn’t even question it.

“Oh, there he is! Perfect,” Pam shrieked.

Gale turned to see the green slime monster enter with a balloon in each of its six tentacles. She grieved at the sight of the gold floating bulbs.

“Well,” Gary announced, “the store only had five of each number, so I couldn’t get that pretty one million, but then I remembered we were celebrating the half-million raised, so I got five-hundred thousand instead. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yes,” Pam squeaked. “It will have to do. There’s no time.” She tore the balloons from Gary and ran off.

Gale stared at Gary, contemplating. Did he know? Was it that obvious? No, it was impossible. He was just a woeful temp.

“What do I do now, Gale?”

“Nothing,” she griped. “Enjoy the party.”

At the top of the hour, the entire branch crammed themselves into the conference room. Everyone was chomping at the bit for the free cake, beer, and billable hours.

Like all parties, Gale took her cup of punch and hid in the corner. When Larry arrived, he flagged Gale down and jogged over to her when she did not move.

“I’m sorry, Gale. I don’t have the presentation ready. Some things came up.”

“I hope everything is okay.” Gale, who kept her eye on the entrance for arrival of the fund managers, spit up her drink when two well-dressed men with badges on their belts showed up instead.

Larry nodded toward the newcomers. “That’s what I’ve been busy with. The detectives interviewed the entire accounting department. Apparently, this morning, David suddenly came home, packed his bags, and left without telling Simon anything. Simon tried calling and calling, but David wouldn’t pick up. Then Simon began looking through David’s laptop and found loads of illegal stuff.”

With a small, croaked voice, Gale dared to ask, “Like — like what?”

Larry hunched over a bit more and lowered his snout close to Gale. “Child porn.”

Gale almost jumped in shock. “What?” She resisted the urge to sigh in relief.

“I know! I had no idea! There were gigabytes of it on there! Did you think David was that kind of guy?”

Gale shook her head. “He never gave me any indication whenever we talked.”

“Sometimes you can never guess people’s darkest secrets.”

Instead of commenting on that, Gale pointed at the police again. “What are they doing here, though?”

“They’re coming to check out his work computer. Once the IT guy heard the rumors, he refused to even go into David’s office. They’re just going to check David’s work computer for suspicious activity.”

Upon hearing that last sentence, Gale accidentally crushed the cup in her hand. “Oh, I see.”

Larry didn’t notice; in fact, he waved to someone across the room. “Geraldo, my man!” Though Larry towered over the crowd, he disappeared.

Gale resisted shaking where she stood and schemed what she would do next. As long as the police didn’t see the retirement accounts, she might succeed. She stared at the detectives as they chatted up her boss, and as she did, she plotted methods to stall them. If she destroyed David’s work computer, would that stop them or would that set them on her trail quicker? Maybe her original plan was the best one. Maybe these detectives weren’t computer experts.

She couldn’t rely on that. She needed to think of something.

While contemplating, her vision turned green. Gary, the green blob, stood in front of her.

“Are any of these your sunglasses?” he asked, holding two up with tentacle arms while four more floated in his body. “These were in the Lost and Found.”

Gale shook her head and wiped her eyes. All the stress and emotion had her tearing up. “Oh, no. Sorry, but thank you.”

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

An idea popped into her head. “Would you get me a tea? There’s some in the break room.”

“Of course, I love tea!” Gary rushed out of the conference room and slithered down the hall to the break room. She smirked as he passed by David’s office.

When she turned, the two officers approached. “Hello, are you Mrs. Gale Grey?” one asked.

“Miss,” Gale corrected.

“Oh,” one blurted, surprised. “I would have thought someone your age would be married by now.”

All of Gale’s fear twisted into annoyance and spite.

The other detective cleared his throat. “I’m Detective Ó Cuilinn, and you may ignore my partner, Detective Cockburn. Do you mind if we ask you some questions about your coworker, David Kimura?”

“As long there are no more comments about my personal life,” Gale snapped.

The second detective blushed and shrunk his shoulders. “I’m gonna go interview another coworker,” he mumbled before slinking away.

Once he disappeared, Gale regained her confidence. She had lied to her coworkers many times. Why would this time be any different?

“You coordinate with David to manage the charity funds to the,” he checked his notepad, “Disadvantaged Children’s Fund, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a lot of direct conversation with David?”

“No.”

“Your boss said that David speaks with you the most frequently.”

Gale stuttered, “Well, he must not have a lot of friends in the office.”

“Right. Has he made comments about children in the workplace?

“No.”

“Have you ever witnessed any interaction between him and a child?”

“No.”

“Did children come up in any conversation… like a TV commercial or your coworker’s children? Think back.”

Gale shook her head. “I can’t think of anything.” She remembered some strange remarks and habits — he kept the original picture in the picture frames on his desk, but somehow those pictures always ended up being kids and one time, while they were setting up the DCF*, he said “I actually do like children. More than most, really…”—but she wanted the conversation to end.

“Your boss says you talk to him every day?”

She attempted a nonchalant shrug. “I politely say ‘Hello’.” The longer the conversation went on, the stinging pain in her chest grew.

“I see.” He pursed his lips and held out a card. “Thank you for your time. Call me if you remember anything.”

Gale released the large breath she was holding and ripped the card out of his hand. “Yes, of course.”

After the detective left, she forced a smile and willed the blood to her cheeks. She could breathe on the airplane, she just—

At that moment, she noticed the fund managers. They must have slipped in while she was distracted with the detective. They chatted with none other than Larry and Pam.

The scene hit her like a truck. What did they say to one another? I have to distract them! I have to break them up! she screamed in her head, but as soon as she took one wobbly step forward, she knew fainting was the only distraction she was capable of.

Gale staggered back toward her office, holding on to the walls for support. As she traversed the edge of the crowd, she glimpsed the bittersweet scene of Detective Cockburn slipping on the ground in front of David’s office. “What is this stuff?” she heard behind her as she made her escape from the party.

When she reached her office, she dropped into her chair and shoved her head between her knees, unable to catch her breath. Despite the creeping feeling of death, she was determined to board that plane, but she couldn’t even stand up.

How am I going to do this?

•   •   •

Someone knocked at the door, but she didn’t answer; she just hugged her legs.

The door creaked open.

“Busy…” she panted. Though she tried to inspire fear with her voice, it only sounded pathetic. She pried herself off her legs and held onto the desk for support so she could see who dared to barge in on her.

It was Gary, holding two paper cups with tea bag strings hanging off them. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I’m…” Gale huffed, “I’m…fine… Go…away.”

“Well, here’s your tea.” He set one on the desk. “Is there anything else I can do?”

The room was spinning. Gary’s form was shifting in ways that Gale was sure weren’t a part of his demon power. How could she reach the airport now? Sometimes attacks lasted hours, even when she took her medication.

Finally, she broke. All these thoughts swarming in her head came out through her tears.

“Oh dear,” Gary said when he saw her face. He handed her some slime-soaked tissues. “Uh, what can I do?”

“It’s… an attack…”

“I can help!”

“You shouldn’t… help me.”

“I’ll do anything.”

Gale threw the tissues over her shoulder, dumped her purse’s contents on the desk, and fished out two plane tickets. “I need… to get… to the… airport…”

“On it!” Gary slid a tentacle across the desk and, more or less successfully, swept everything back into her purse. Chapstick and car keys and nail clippers flew across the room. He dropped the purse on Gale’s lap and wheeled her out using her rolling office chair.

He wheeled her out of the building and to the curb, where he hailed a taxi. When one screeched to a stop, he lifted her off the chair and put her in the seat, soaking her skirt with goo.

“The airport!” Gary commanded as he got in the seat next to her. The car sped off, knocking poor Gale around.

“You didn’t need anything from home, did you?” Gary checked.

Gale shook her head, though the motion almost made her puke. “No… this is… good…”

“We’d have time.”

Gale did not care about those things; she already secured the money. She just needed to board that plane. “I just… want… the airport.”

“No problem,” he cheered.

Even with Gary helping her, the attack refused to fade. How quickly would the cops find out about the embezzlement on David’s computer? So far, David’s ability to hide stuff on computers had proven to be poor.

Once the taxi skidded to a stop, Gale clambered out. Her heels wobbled under her shaky legs. Once Gary helped her inside, Gale braced her hands on her knees and buckled over, wheezing.

Gary paused and twisted his tentacles together. “Do you need help to the terminal?”

“No… you’ve done… enough.”

“I can buy a ticket and go to the terminal with you.”

“Why would… you do that… for me?”

Gary shrugged with his tentacles. “You look like you need it.”

“You don’t… know me.”

“I can still do something nice.”

“All I’ve been… is horrible to… to you.”

“Horrible people need help, too.”

Gale didn’t want his help, but more than anything, Gale wanted to sit. “Fine… Here…” She pulled out two tickets and gave him one. “We’ll put it… in your name…”

“Why do you have two tickets?”

“I hate… sitting next… to people.”

“Let’s get you to your terminal.”

By pitifully harassing the ticket attendant, Gale got the ticket in Gary’s name. Her passport miraculously survived the rash reorganization of her purse. Despite being covered in slime, Gale slipped through the TSA checkpoint easily, but they requested Gary to step aside.

“Sure,” Gary complained, “double check the translucent being.”

For a moment, Gale sympathized with him, but then again, she pondered where he pulled his passport from.

After Gary’s shakedown in the TSA, they made it to their terminal and slouched into the seats.

Gale looked over her shoulder, but there was no sign of any cops. She finally relaxed in her chair, and her breathing steadied again.

“So, what did you do?” Gary implored.

“I’m just going on vacation… I get nervous on planes.”

“That’s not it. Whatever you tell me, I’ve heard worse. You know how many terrible sins I’ve been told? I’m scarred for this life and the next. And I won’t rat you out. I’m just helping my asthmatic friend get to the airport.”

“It’s a panic attack,” Gale corrected.

“Ah, sorry.”

“Why did you go to Hell?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what you did.”

Gale sighed. “David and I embezzled the company’s charity matching to the DCF. I prepared everything for my escape today, but I had to throw a wrench into things to keep people from finding out too soon.”

“That’s why you had me break into Larry’s office. So impressive. Well done!”

“You’re not mad?”

“Nah, I get it. Why did you do it, though?”

“It was an accident at first, but David and I ran with it. It seemed crazy, but I realized I didn’t actually have anything to lose. I passed through life like how I should, but I don’t — I didn’t — ” Gale sighed again. “It just made sense.”

Gary nodded his head portion. “I lived a remarkably ordinary life; I thought I was a good man, but I went to hell, and I still have no idea why. I don’t know if it was a bunch of little things or one big thing. When I escaped, I decided to become the nicest guy in the world, but who knows.” He pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his body portion and placed them in his head portion, and then he retrieved another set. “Want a pair?”

Smirking, Gale put the slimy sunglasses on her face. As she settled into her chair, the panic attack’s exhaustion was hitting her. “I think I might pass out.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll wake you when we’re boarding.”

She looked ragged and messy, but she didn’t care. Her eyelids drooped, and she drifted off to sleep.

•   •   •

After a short uncomfortable nap, Gale awoke to Gary nudging her shoulder.

“Hey, you’re boarding now, Miss First Class,” Gary chuckled.

“Let me run to the restroom to clean up,” Gale said, looking at her damp clothes. Maybe she could hold herself under the dryer—

Her phone buzzed in her purse. She pulled it out and extended the antenna. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Pam! Where are you? Are you at the airport already?”

“Why?”

“Well, the cops were asking about you, and I said you might be at the airport, but now I kinda regret saying that. I think they’re headed there now. They seem to think you’re some kind of criminal.”

Gale’s first instinct was to hang up and run, but a second voice in her head stopped her. “Thank you, Pam. It’s been nice working with you.” She hung up and whipped her head toward Gary. “Would you join me on the flight? I’ll pay for your ticket back.”

“First Class? Yes, please!”

They rushed past the ticket lady, waving their tickets before them. They bounded down the jetway and barged through the plane. Huffing, they both plopped into their seats, Gary dripping onto the floor.

The flight attendant, in the midst of taking the initial drink orders, saw the two. “Oh dear,” she said. “Ma’am, is there anything I can do for you?”

“Not unless you have an extra set of clothes. We were — were rushed this morning, and I left my luggage in the cab.”

“You know what,” the attendant said, gleaming. “I actually have another set of clothes that I was about to throw out. You’re about my size. I’ll go fetch them.”

Gale blinked in disbelief. “That would be amazing. Thank you!”

“Of course!” she said before rushing off toward the cockpit.

As soon as she left, Gale turned to Gary. Despite their luck with new clothes, there were bigger fish to fry. “Do you think they’ll search the plane?” she whispered.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“What do we do?”

Rather than answering, Gary straightened his blob form into a standing position. He pointed across the aisle at an unsuspecting woman in a floor-length fur coat. “You, ma’am. This woman will write you a check right now for that coat!”

The woman gaped at the two.

“What are you doing?” Gale hissed at Gary.

“I have an idea. Trust me!”

•   •   •

Detectives Ó Cuilinn and Cockburn stepped onto Flight B6881. Without pause, they split up with Cockburn toward economy and Ó Cuilinn toward first class. Each scanned the faces of the passengers as they squirmed in their seats upon sight of the cops.

Ó Cuilinn stepped through the curtain to first class. He peered across all the faces, but there was no Gale Grey. It had not taken them long to find her involvement in the embezzling scheme; the desktop folder labelled ‘Early Retirement Plans’ was difficult to miss. The way Gale acted at the party almost made the detective bring her in for further questioning, but like every mistake he’s ever made, he didn’t trust his gut.

He turned to leave and check in with Cockburn when he noticed the green blob. He was sure he had seen this demon before, but this time, the green blob was wearing a fur coat that hid its translucent body.

Detective Ó Cuilinn caught the demon’s attention. “Sir, do you work at Dris Company?”

“Yes, I’m a temp there.”

“Do you know a Gale Grey?”

“Yes, she trained me.”

“Have you seen her on this plane?”

“No, I haven’t seen her. That would be crazy if we were both on the same plane!”

Detective Ó Cuilinn narrowed his eyes at the green demon. He put a hand on the seat in front of Gary, trapping him in. “Do you mind taking off your jacket, sir?”

“What?”

“I just need you to take off your jacket.”

“First the TSA and now this? This is discrimination!”

“I have reason to believe that you are hiding Miss Grey. I know for a fact that you rarely wear clothing to hide your form. Please take off the coat!”

“I get nervous on airplanes! This is a therapy coat!”

“It’ll only be for a second.”

While the detective harassed Gary, two stewardesses approached the from the cockpit. “Sir, may I help you?”

“Just give me a second,” he insisted and turned to Gary. “Sir, just open the front of the coat. If you don’t, I’m going to arrest you.”

Gary scoffed, “You’re going to arrest me for NOT flashing in public?”

The flight attendant in front pressed the detective, “Please, could we wrap this up? Just arrest the guy.”

The second attendant winked at Gary.

“Fine,” Gary conceded and pulled the coat open. The only things hovering in his translucent body were several sunglasses and a tie.

The detective angrily confronted the attendant. “I need to search the bathroom and the staff areas.” He pushed past the two women to the front.

When the detective barged through, the second attendant ducked out of the way, avoiding eye contact. After a brief search, he met up with his partner, and they disappeared from the plane.

Once the detectives were gone, the first flight attendant brought some towels to Gale, who adorned a uniform herself, though shades lighter than the real attendant’s. “I hope these help.”

Gale took them, forcing a smile. “Thank you again for the dry clothes.”

“No problem. It’s an old one I was about to throw out. You’re lucky I still had it on me.”

“Thank you,” Gale replied in the same breath as an exhausted sigh. “You saved the day.”

The attendant nodded, unknowing what she had truly done, and shuffled off. Gale sat back down next to Gary.

“Hey, my plan worked,” Gary exclaimed.

“Your plan would’ve gotten me killed,” Gale corrected. “I wouldn’t have survived breathing through a straw.”

“But we’re both still here.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, relaxed, “we are.”

•   •   •

On a beach in the Samoan Islands, Gale and Gary sunbathed on lawn chairs. Gale tanned; Gary slowly evaporated. On the table between them sat a glass of scotch and a martini. For the first time, Gale could breathe.

Despite his promising new career, Gary did not return to the States. After the daring escape, Gale split her portion with him, and like Gale, he had nothing to go back for.

They relaxed outside a small cottage Gale bought and traded for. It would take weeks to hunt down the paperwork trail that linked her to the cottage. Regardless, it was only one stop on her tour of the world.

“Gale,” Gary began, “I think half was too much. I don’t even know what to do with all that money.”

“You could donate it,” Gale chided.

“I might, but why did you give me anything? You didn’t have to do that.”

“I’ve thought about that a lot. I would have been arrested if you and everyone else hadn’t been so nice — even when I was terrible. I only got away with it because of your help, Pam gave me that heads up, Larry warned me about David, and the stewardess — a complete stranger — gave me her old uniform, so I decided to share the kindness.”

“You’re truly a role model, Gale.”

Chuckling, she picked up the scotch. “You know, Gary, you’re going back to Hell for helping me. Maybe somewhere even worse.”

“Yeah, but I won’t be going alone.”

They clinked their glasses together, toasting to their new lives.

About the author and the piece (click to expand)

This story was rejected by 10 of the best markets in the business before we got our tentacles on it. Sarah Skinner is a humble software engineer who had far too much unsupervised time as a child. She is presently entombed under a pile of her three dozen unfinished projects and is survived by her beloved cat and fiancé (different). If you’re brave enough, you can find more of her work published in the Roi Fainéant Press or sometimes littered in Free Little Libraries around Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

 

©2026 by Sarah Skinner. All rights reserved. May not be used for A.I. training.